Holiday Custody Concerns: What Michigan Parents Should Know
Last week, we discussed timing your divorce filing and answered a common question: Should you file for divorce before 12/31?
This week, we want to address common concerns about child custody during the holiday season.
The holidays are supposed to be joyful—but for separated or divorced parents, they can also be stressful. Between travel, family traditions, and children’s expectations, even a well-written custody plan can run into problems.
At The Mitten Law Firm, we often see parents struggle to navigate holiday schedules that didn’t anticipate every real-life scenario. Below are some of the most common (and often overlooked) issues Michigan parents face during the holiday season—and what you can do to prevent them.
1. When the Holiday Schedule Doesn’t Match Real Life
Most Michigan custody orders include a section for holidays, but those plans often miss the details that matter.
For example:
- What if Christmas break runs longer than expected because of snow days?
- What if one parent’s “normal” parenting time starts immediately after their holiday week—effectively giving them two weeks in a row?
- What if travel takes up most of your assigned time?
A good plan should clearly say who gets which days and how transitions happen, including travel days and school breaks. Parents can always agree in writing to adjust schedules, but clarity ahead of time helps avoid arguments.
2. Extended Family and Multiple Households
In many Michigan families, grandparents, step-parents, and other relatives play a big role during the holidays. But unless your custody plan allows “third-party time,” those visits can create tension.
If your child spends part of Christmas Eve at their grandparents’ home, for instance, does that count as your time or your co-parent’s? It helps to clarify these situations in your plan or agree in writing ahead of time.
3. Religious and Cultural Celebrations
Michigan families are diverse, and many celebrate holidays beyond Christmas and Thanksgiving—like Hanukkah, Eid, Diwali, or Kwanzaa. These dates aren’t always listed in standard custody templates, which can lead to confusion.
If your family observes specific religious or cultural holidays, add them to your parenting plan. This ensures your child can fully participate in important traditions without yearly disputes.
4. Miscommunication and Last-Minute Changes
Many holiday conflicts happen because one parent “assumed” something. Maybe you thought you’d alternate New Year’s Eve every year, but the other parent assumed it was always theirs.
Michigan courts prefer written communication for parenting issues. To avoid misunderstandings:
- Confirm plans in writing (text or email).
- Set deadlines for holiday decisions—such as finalizing travel by November 1.
- Avoid informal swaps unless both parents confirm them in writing.
A short paper trail can prevent long legal battles.
5. Emergencies During the Holidays
Life happens—even during Christmas. If a parent gets sick or can’t travel, Michigan courts expect parents to act reasonably and make up lost time later.
Including a clause in your parenting plan that allows for “emergency make-up time” can reduce conflict. It gives both parents a clear process if something unexpected happens.
6. Social Media and Privacy
In today’s world, social media can cause new kinds of conflict. Posting holiday photos of your child—especially if the other parent didn’t approve the activity—can cause emotional or even legal issues.
Parents can add a social-media agreement to their custody plan. This can limit what’s shared online about the child or require consent before posting holiday photos. It protects everyone’s privacy, including your child’s.
7. Missed Holidays and Make-Up Time
If a parent misses their assigned holiday because of weather, illness, or travel problems, Michigan law allows parents to agree on make-up time. But without a written plan, things can get messy.
A fair approach is to include a “make-up holiday” rule—such as letting the parent make up the missed day within the next 60 days. This keeps things balanced and avoids resentment.
8. Children’s Preferences as They Grow
As kids get older, their priorities change—they might want to spend part of the holidays with friends or attend special school events. Michigan courts consider a child’s reasonable preferences (especially for teens).
You can keep your plan flexible by reviewing holiday schedules every few years. Even small updates can prevent stress later.
9. School and Activity Conflicts
Schools and sports programs often hold special events during winter break. If your child has a concert, tournament, or school trip that falls during one parent’s holiday week, decide in advance how those events will be handled.
A good rule of thumb: the child’s best interest comes first. Missing a once-a-year event can cause disappointment that no parent wants.
10. Out-of-State or International Travel
Michigan parents must be especially cautious about holiday travel across state or country lines. Most custody orders require written consent from the other parent before traveling with the child.
If you plan to leave Michigan for the holidays, give advance notice—ideally 30 days or more. Include flight details, addresses, and emergency contacts. If you plan to leave the country, ensure both parents sign passport documents well ahead of time.
Making the Holidays Less Stressful
The key to peaceful holidays after divorce or separation is preparation. The more specific your parenting plan, the fewer arguments you’ll face when the season arrives. If your custody order is outdated or vague, now is a good time to review it. The Mitten Law Firm can help you modify your Michigan parenting plan to reflect your child’s current needs and prevent holiday confusion before it starts.