Downriver Divorce: Questions Your Kids May Ask
When preparing for a divorce in Michigan, you have to think about your rights, responsibilities, finances, and other issues. One of the most important issues, however, is your children. If you have kids, they will definitely have questions about your divorce. Here are some common ones, and how to answer them.
How To Explain Divorce To Children
Children have a unique way of looking at the world. While we were all kids once, we forget how different everything looks through the eyes of a child. This includes your marriage, your relationship with your spouse, and yes, your divorce. Kids will have questions. Here are some common ones that come up in Michigan divorce cases.
Why Do You Have to Split Up?
One of the most common questions kids might have is why is it happening to begin with. Of course, the best way to approach any of your child’s questions about your divorce is by exercising patience and compassion.
Your marriage is what your kids know. Change, especially a big one, can be scary for them.
You can try to say something like this:
“We know this is difficult for you. Your (mom or dad) and I have tried to make changes but this is the best way for all of us. We will always be your parents and we will love you the same as we do now, which is a LOT.”
Are We Going to Have to Move?
If your children are of school age, this question will almost certainly come up when going through a divorce in Wayne County. Again, change is scary for kids. So if they’re used to going to school in Taylor, a change to Trenton or Riverview might be scary for them.
While leaving their friends behind or having to ‘start over’ might be the biggest fear about moving for your children, it is important to let them know that some changes are good.
An answer similar to this one might be helpful:
“I know you love your friends and school. We are going to do everything we can to keep you in the same school. If we have to move, we are going to make sure that you love your new school and home just as much.”
Is this my/our fault?
Remember how we said that kids look at the world differently? Many times they will internalize family problems and shoulder the blame for them. Most of the time this is because it is hard for them to recognize external factors that can be causing the strife. Kids don’t understand financial problems, for example, so if they can’t see the cause of the stress, they will try to understand it in the ways they know how.
In this situation, the best approach is letting them know, in no uncertain terms, that the divorce is not their fault. Try this:
“What’s happening is only between your mom/dad and I. This is something that grown-ups have to work through together. Absolutely nothing you have done is causing us to split up. We both love you more than anything in the world and we are both so very proud of you.”
Going Through a Divorce in the Downriver Area? We Are Here to Help.
We know how difficult divorce can be, emotionally and financially. If you are getting ready to file for divorce, we have the experience and skill to help you through the process more easily while working toward the best possible outcome for you and your children. Contact The Mitten Law Firm today.
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